Why does it always have to be about race?

Remember that huge snow storm back in ’92? And all you suckers were too pussy to go out in the snow and trick or treat? Well, I got all your candy, but that’s beside the point. That was back in the day when Halloween was an innocent day of excitement for me. I was allowed to dress up AND take candy from strangers. One year I was Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz and my sister was Glinda the Good Witch, we were fucking adorable.

This year my options are considerably less adorable…I could be a “Mile High Captain”, “Heaven’s Hottie Angel” or “Officer Pat U Down”. Who comes up with this shit? Clever bastards! Well, I’m a party pooper and I much rather hand out candy to adorable children than go to a bar and watch some scantily clad sorority girl hopped up on diet pills spill miller lite on herself. Yeah, we’ve all seen it…

Anyway, on to the race thing…First of all, can’t we all agree that Halloween is a day to dress up as something different, crazy or exaggerated? If you answered no, leave. Second, shouldn’t Halloween be harmless fun for children and drunkin’ frat boys alike? Yes, it should! So why can’t I dress like Pocahontas, a geisha, a gipsy, or wear a fake afro without someone getting on my ass about it?!?! To all you hypersensitive boys and girls out there, stop trying to kill fun.

As an Oriental, I officially give everyone permission to dress as a samurai, a Saigon whore, a person that’s good at math, an import model, Short Round, Margaret Cho, Yoko Ono, Kim Jong-il, Bruce Lee, Hello Kitty…It’s all good bitches, as long as it’s all in the name of fun. Oh, but no Anime costumes, you assholes are stupid.

The bottom line is there is no reason to get so worked up over stereotypes especially during Halloween. Most people are not trying to be malicious or racist, more commonly they are just ignorant. And hey, if you can’t laugh at yourself, then who can you laugh at? Thanks Tiger Woods, you’re so smart! It’s probably because you’re part Chinese…

Oh, and seriously, stop calling us Oriental, we hate that…